Parental Guidance Suggested
by writeallnight
Summary: A team night out leads to a rather inebriated discovery by Callen and Sam. Full team fic!


A/N: This little fic is based on my personal head canon that whenever Sam and Callen leave town, the rest of the team uses it as a license to go out and do fun, crazy things together. It's super silly. Also they are all preeeetty drunk. So that's amusing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh my gosh! Do you remember that time," Nell snorted and covered her mouth with her hand, "that time that we went to that bar, and that guy got soooo drunk, and he tried," she was still laughing, "he tried to take a swing at Sam and he missed and he knocked over that statue of…what was it?"

"A polar bear in a bathing suit," Callen supplied with a grin as he looked over at his partner.

The team was sitting around a circular table in the corner of a favorite post- work watering hole. The hour was getting late but they were all still going strong, the number of empty glasses and bottles in front of them belying that fact.

Sam groaned and set his beer down on the table. "Don't remind me. The owner wanted me to pay him $800 for that thing."

"Aw, come on Sam-dawg, you just batted your pretty eyelashes at him and he backed right off," Deeks teased as he took another sip of his drink and threw an arm around Kensi's shoulders.

Sam glared at the detective. "I told you not to call me that."

"Oh calm down and have another drink Sam-dawg," Callen told him as he signaled the bartender for another round.

"Oh my god," Kensi laughed and sat forward, pointing her finger at Nell. "Do you remember that time at Rage when Eric and Deeks were—"

"Yes!" Nell cried excitedly, nearly knocking over her martini, "and they tried to—"

"Noooo!" Eric chimed in, shaking his head. "You promised not to bring it up again!"

"But it was so funny!" Kensi insisted.

"Not as funny time you two tried to sing karaoke at Bastille," Deeks informed them.

"Whoa, whoa, what are you guys talking about?" Sam asked.

"Yeah what time at Rage? What's Bastille?" Callen added, as he helped the server pass out another round of beverages.

"Oh, you weren't there for those," Kensi told them with a wave of her hand as she bit into a potato chip.

"What do you mean we weren't there?" Callen asked.

"Yeah what, are you four going out and not inviting us?" Sam asked with a laugh.

"We didn't 'not invite you,' you just weren't here," Eric said with a shrug as he popped a peanut into his mouth.

"Not here?" Callen repeated in confusion. "Where were we?"

Nell wrinkled her nose as she thought. "Um…Rage was when you guys went to Mexico and Bastille was….I think when you were in Georgia."

"Yes, it was because we went on a Wednesday that time," Kensi pointed out.

"Right!" Eric chimed in, "because then on Thursday we were at The Edge and then laser tag until 2 am."

"Yes! Laser tag where we absolutely crushed both of you," Deeks informed the group.

"Uh, yeah, because you cheated," Kensi poked him in the ribs and took a sip of his beer.

"Hey!" Deeks exclaimed, trying only half-heartedly to grab it back.

Kensi held it up in the air and refused to let him take it. "Mine is empty!" she told him.

"Wait, Georgia? Like…when I was at the CDC because I was poisoned?"" Callen asked slowly. "Did you guys…did you guys go out and party while I was dying?"

"No!" Nell put a hand on his arm, suddenly looking very concerned. "No, no of course not. No, we waited until after we knew you were all right."

"Yeah, we were really worried about you," Eric said around a mouthful of snack food. "So we waited until after we got the call that you were okay."

"It doesn't sound like you were worried," Callen sulked, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking back into the seat of the booth.

"Do you guys always go to karaoke and laser tag when we're out of town?" Sam asked, suddenly no longer interested in the drink of in front of him.

"No, sometimes we go clubbing," Deeks answered. "Pass the pretzels?"

"Ooh, and one time went to that painting class, remember?" Kensi reminded them as she handed the basket of pretzels to her partner.

"Yes, with that super weird guy that kept hitting on Eric," Nell added, stealing a pretzel from the basket as it passed.

"Can we maybe not talk about that? It was extremely uncomfortable for me," Eric shivered at the memory as Nell patted his arm sympathetically. "He kept leaning over to help me. His hands were clammy."

"How come we never do any of this stuff all together?" Callen asked.

"Because you guys hate karaoke," Kensi said, her face displaying that she felt she was stating the obvious.

"We don't hate karaoke," Sam told her.

"Um, you definitely hate it," Deeks repeated. "My second day at NCIS you said, and I quote, 'What idiot would want to stand up and embarrass themselves in front of other people like that?' end quote."

"You did, you did say that, I've got it recorded up in Ops," Eric added.

"Well, I…maybe I didn't mean it," Sam said indignantly.

"Yeah, I wasn't even here and I know you meant it," Nell told him with a nod of her head.

"But we do like laser tag," Callen said, more than a little pathetically.

"Are you…are you guys sad that we hang out without you?" Deeks asked.

"Of course not," Sam said quickly. "We just didn't know that you did all this…stuff."

"If it makes you feel any better we only do it when you're gone," Nell told them.

"Yeah never when you're in town," Eric agreed.

"Ooh, except that one time," Kensi said with a grimace.

"No, it's whatever," Callen shrugged and toyed with the label on his bottle. "You're allowed to do things without us."

"Listen, Callen, it's like this," Deeks explained, "it's kind of like when your parents go out of town right? And you've got the whole house to yourself. And you stay up until 4 am and you order six pizzas and your raid the liquor cabinet and maybe have some friends over. Like you can't do that when your parents are around, you can only do it when they leave."

"Yes!" Eric agreed. "Yes. And then, when your parents come back, you have fun with them too. A different kind of fun," he smiled and patted Sam's arm.

Sam glared at him. "Are you saying that Callen and I…are like your parents?" the former SEAL asked slowly.

"Oh my god, yes!" Nell smacked his arm in her enthusiasm. "Sometimes we need to just cut loose without Mama and Papa Bear around."

Callen looked at Sam. "You're definitely Mama Bear."

"I am not Mama Bear," he replied flatly.

"You're totally Mama Bear," Deeks said with a grin.

"Call me that one more time," Sam threatened.

"See? This is why we do things without you," Kensi informed them. "You two are all old and uptight."

"I'm not uptight," Callen stated. "I'm not married. I'm free as a bird. Sam is the old and uptight one."

"Oh so this is my fault?" Sam pointed to himself incredulously. "Me? You sleep on the floor. You have two sets of clothes. That is the least amount of fun a person can have."

"He's right Papa Bear," Deeks agreed. "You are also old and uptight."

"I have fun," Callen told them.

"Mmm….you shoot things," Kensi pointed out. "That's not the same."

"Yeah, definitely not the same," Eric agreed.

"Definitely!" Nell echoed.

"Shooting things is fun!" Callen defended himself. "You two shoot things," he pointed at Kensi and Deeks.

"Yes, but shooting things is their job. Not their only hobby," Eric said seriously.

"You really want to start talking about hobbies Super Nerd?" Sam asked.

"Considering that shooting is also your only hobby I don't think you have a leg to stand on," Nell told him. "Eric and I have very diversified interests."

"I build things," Sam shot back. "That's a hobby."

"When?" Kensi asked.

"When what?"

"When's the last time you built anything," Kensi specified. "I've never seen you build anything."

"Yeah Mama Bear, where's all your totem poles and canoes and stuff?" Deeks asked as he finally managed to steal his beer back from Kensi.

"I make furniture, not that other crap," Sam grumbled.

"Tell you what," Nell said as she leaned across the table for a bowl of chips. "If you build us a canoe, you can come hang out with us."

"Yes!" Kensi seconded, holding her beer up as if to toast.

Deeks and Eric also voiced their agreement and held up their drinks.

"Hey what about me?" Callen threw his arms wide. "What if I build a canoe?"

"Then we'll all drown," Deeks replied to a chorus of laughter.

"Okay, I'm out," Callen started to rise but a round of resounding 'no's!' and the pull of Kensi and Nell's hands forced him back into his seat.

"We're sorry, we're sorry," Kensi apologized. "Seriously, what could you do…?".

"Maybe little models, like little rocket ships or something," Deeks suggested.

"But we get to _use_ the canoe," Nell pointed out.

"Pottery!" Eric snapped his fingers.

"Yes!" Kensi crowed. "Some little bowls and cups!"

"You could make a teapot for Hetty," Nell said with a grin.

"Maybe a nice pint glass for Granger," Sam joined in with a smirk.

"I _will_ kick your ass Mama Bear," Callen told him, the vast number of beers he'd drunk and the turn of the conversation causing him to suddenly feel somewhat hostile toward his partner.

"Fine," Nell held up her hands to play peacemaker. "The next time we go midnight bowling, or go-cart racing, or clubbing at some hot spot in Beverly Hills we will call you."

"You went go-cart racing?" Sam asked.

"Forget call them, let's go right now!" Deeks announced. "I can have a Lyft driver here in five minutes!"

"Yes!" Eric jumped on board enthusiastically. "There is a new place Nelly and I have been dying to try. It's family style and they do all these really cool science-y drinks with like fire and liquid nitrogen and stuff! It's supposed to be amazing!"

"Yes, yes, let's go!" Kensi stood, pulling Deeks with her. "I love weird drinks!"

"Go, like, oh, right now," Callen said in confusion as everyone else started to rise. "That's wow, okay, uh, Sam?"

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds great, we just, we have that thing, that we—" Sam looked at Callen.

"…for tomorrow to pick up. You guys go, we'll meet you there," Callen said as the two of them hurried toward the side door. "We'll see you soon!" he yelled over his shoulder.

The rest of the team watched them make a hasty retreat. "They're not going to come, are they?" Eric said slowly.

"Yeah, I think that's a hard no," Kensi replied.

"Well it is past their bedtime," Nell said, making herself and the rest of the group laugh.

"Come on gang," Deeks looped his arm around his girlfriend. "Mom and Dad have left the building and it's time for the kids to party!"

* * *

A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!


End file.
